World Worble 3: Hostilities have started again.
December 20th 2007 03:47
World Worble 3: Hostilities have started again.
The history of World Worble 3 has been short and sporadic with several fruitless battles against common sense.
The origin of the war is lost in time between the ancient tribes called the Assaholes and Non-assaholes. The Assaholes were thought to have been extinct but small tribes pop up from time to time. Deep seated resentment toward the majority Non-assaholes has led to their re-emergence under various forms, but deep down they will always be Assaholes. They even have a national anthem: “It’s not fair, it’s not fair. How dare you breathe without my permission, it’s not fair.” There are twenty verses that include everything from ‘Liberal’s are the Antichrist’ to ‘Why is everyone but me eeeeeevil?’ No one has ever been able to sing the entire anthem as it has remarkable sleep inducing properties.
Now the greatest battle of WW3 began back somewhere near mid 2007. It came after many skirmishes with Jingoist grenades and circular logic bullets fire randomly into an unsuspecting crowd. Luckily both weapons are ineffective and no one was injured.
Things suddenly became ugly the enemy attempted to launch a barrage of Patriotic Missiles to destroy all targets. It was to be the blitzkrieg to end all blitzkriegs. Yet for some strange reason all the Patriot missiles were switched with Jingoist missiles. It was a disaster for the enemy as many of the missiles turned back upon the people who pushed all the wrong buttons. Other missiles blew up on the launch pad and others failed to launch due to ironic fallout. It was a hideous scene where causalities were all classed as self inflicted or friendly fire.
It was later discovered by the enemy that Jingoist Missiles designed for the American Southern States were completely ineffective against non-American.
The enemy retreated and made loud gestures about leaving then staying and then leaving hoping to wear down the allies. They gave up on using the Patriot tactic for a while in favour of Guilt Bombing. The Guilt Bomb is like the Love Bomb but without the Love and all the Smothering. It was such a powerful weapon that people were afraid to use it. So it was no surprise that when the Guilt Bomb aimed at an innocent target it shock wave was felt by all and roused a mighty back lash against such underhanded tactic.
The master of the enemy camp retreated for a while so that people would have time to forget how the Guilt Bomb was renamed the Clearly Bigoted Attack Weapon. There was now a problem as their forces were depleting and the war effort was failing. It was getting harder to find weaknesses in the allies armour. Through good intelligence and minimal education the allies were able to see where these attacks were coming from and list the source thus making the enemy frustrated but not destroyed. What was the master of the enemy to do?
Every good chess player knows the value of the bishop to the game. It can move diagonally when everyone else but the queen goes in straight lines. So the master of the enemy did what every loser army has done from the dawn of time and declared this to be a Holy War. The battle ceased to be a turf fight and patriotic duty, it now became a matter of salvation. The witch hunts and Inquisitions had just begun when it was noticed that irony does not burn too well. Yet like all good Holy Wars and witch hunts it is all part of the fun.
This brings us up to date on the history of World Worble 3.
A war on humour and sanity.
When will it ever end?
When?
When?
.......
.......
.......
When?
The tragic effects of ironic fallout.
The history of World Worble 3 has been short and sporadic with several fruitless battles against common sense.
The origin of the war is lost in time between the ancient tribes called the Assaholes and Non-assaholes. The Assaholes were thought to have been extinct but small tribes pop up from time to time. Deep seated resentment toward the majority Non-assaholes has led to their re-emergence under various forms, but deep down they will always be Assaholes. They even have a national anthem: “It’s not fair, it’s not fair. How dare you breathe without my permission, it’s not fair.” There are twenty verses that include everything from ‘Liberal’s are the Antichrist’ to ‘Why is everyone but me eeeeeevil?’ No one has ever been able to sing the entire anthem as it has remarkable sleep inducing properties.
Bollocks Bombs were banned in warfare but it still being used today.
Now the greatest battle of WW3 began back somewhere near mid 2007. It came after many skirmishes with Jingoist grenades and circular logic bullets fire randomly into an unsuspecting crowd. Luckily both weapons are ineffective and no one was injured.
Things suddenly became ugly the enemy attempted to launch a barrage of Patriotic Missiles to destroy all targets. It was to be the blitzkrieg to end all blitzkriegs. Yet for some strange reason all the Patriot missiles were switched with Jingoist missiles. It was a disaster for the enemy as many of the missiles turned back upon the people who pushed all the wrong buttons. Other missiles blew up on the launch pad and others failed to launch due to ironic fallout. It was a hideous scene where causalities were all classed as self inflicted or friendly fire.
It was later discovered by the enemy that Jingoist Missiles designed for the American Southern States were completely ineffective against non-American.
I really love legs. This is the design of my army tank.(make that Leggy Tank)
The enemy retreated and made loud gestures about leaving then staying and then leaving hoping to wear down the allies. They gave up on using the Patriot tactic for a while in favour of Guilt Bombing. The Guilt Bomb is like the Love Bomb but without the Love and all the Smothering. It was such a powerful weapon that people were afraid to use it. So it was no surprise that when the Guilt Bomb aimed at an innocent target it shock wave was felt by all and roused a mighty back lash against such underhanded tactic.
The master of the enemy camp retreated for a while so that people would have time to forget how the Guilt Bomb was renamed the Clearly Bigoted Attack Weapon. There was now a problem as their forces were depleting and the war effort was failing. It was getting harder to find weaknesses in the allies armour. Through good intelligence and minimal education the allies were able to see where these attacks were coming from and list the source thus making the enemy frustrated but not destroyed. What was the master of the enemy to do?
Every good chess player knows the value of the bishop to the game. It can move diagonally when everyone else but the queen goes in straight lines. So the master of the enemy did what every loser army has done from the dawn of time and declared this to be a Holy War. The battle ceased to be a turf fight and patriotic duty, it now became a matter of salvation. The witch hunts and Inquisitions had just begun when it was noticed that irony does not burn too well. Yet like all good Holy Wars and witch hunts it is all part of the fun.
This brings us up to date on the history of World Worble 3.
A war on humour and sanity.
When will it ever end?
When?
When?
.......
.......
.......
When?
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Comment by tlcorbin
Coffee Quip
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
Well then it seems that I must continue to work on my Leggy Tank.
The fate of the whole universe depends on it.
Comment by Louie
Climate Forum
Climate Red
randomthoughts
Phil's Wellness Tips
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
T t t t Thanks for your comments.
I will try to mass produce the Leggy Tank.
I think it will be a runaway success.
Comment by Ahmed
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
Cinema Three
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
What does it matter anyway. It is all a farce with in a farce.
Like the Wizard Oz the giant head makes a lot of noise and we are told to ignor the woman behind the curtian.
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
thanks for your comments.
I loved the first time I saw it.
BTW
Have you got an Irony fall out shelter?
We may have need of one.
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
BTW
I am designing a bunkum buster bomb.
It will bust bunkum like nothing on earth.
Comment by JohnDoe
Film & TV on DVD
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
I believe the sphincters will need to be evacuated.
So watchout.
Comment by D. Armenta
The Florida Keys and Everglades
The Black Sheep Chronicles
What constitutes bad manners?
The male mystique
Debate Fan
L.A.M.P.
Awesome post, Damo--pretty much sums it all up.
Comment by Cibbuano
20/20 Filmsight
Science News
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
Comment by JohnDoe
Film & TV on DVD
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
Thanks for your comments.
I am trying to have Bollocks off the agenda but what would be laugh at.
Cibbuano
Casualties of the War on Ego.
This just a farce on history.
You can apply it to anything.
JD
Are they also called Colitus Scopes.
Mmmmm...that paints a picture.
Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
Brilliant work my friend!!! Just let me know if you need to borrow my irony fallout shelter.
Also.....love the leggy tank!!
Kylie
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
Thanks for your comments.
The Leggy Tank is my personal favorite.
It kills by stomping on fragile egos.