How to write a Post filled with Rhetoric and Semantics
June 25th 2008 01:32
How to write a Post filled with Rhetoric and Semantics
You need to have the attitude that the world should worship your utterances as the Orange people did for the Bhagwan. Even your burps are a more blogworthy attempt to save the world than everyone else. Yet despite all this creative genius why aren’t you revered as an intellectual giant? Perhaps you need to spice you efforts with a little Rhetoric mixed with some home grown Semantics. Here are some pointers.
What is in Word?
If you think that words can have two meaning then try to make three or even four? If you think that some words have twenty meanings then keep trying for fifty. One at fifty you can aim for 100 meanings. ‘How do you do this,’ you ask? Synonyms are your friend and when that friend is exhausted you always have the Thesaurus who is a friend that never gets tired. Have you ever use one of those books? The endless ways that you can twist and turn a word to mean whatever you want it to mean. Lawyers do it, teachers do it and even politicians do it, let’s do it, let’s fall in love... with confounding the meaning of words to suit our purposes.
Allow me to demonstrate: It is all about ‘Choice’ unless it is ‘Work Choices’. ‘Love’ is grand until it is bad or oppressive. The ancient Greeks had 4 words to describe ‘love’, we have one, so possibilities are even more endless for you to play with. There is no ‘Compassion’ without ‘Passion’ and if think about it hard enough it also includes ‘Communism’. Now you are really working. ‘Discipline’ means whatever you want it to mean because you have a thesaurus and a fertile imagination. BTW, have you ever looked up ‘Thesaurus’ in a thesaurus?
Rhetoric is not Rhetoric if you use it.
For you it is considered thoughts that have been formulated over a long period of personal experience and serious study. The opinions are in fact indisputable facts that have been checked by you personally to ensure that you are correct. Otherwise why would ever bother writing something unless it is the gospel truth and philosophically correct in every way? That sounds fair enough because everyone knows that bloggers are the most honest and educated people on the planet (next to taxi drivers). The case is closed because the authority of self has rested the case on perfect evidence of self promotion. All that is required now is to spice it up.
Art of evidence selection:
So select your evidence carefully to match the assertion. Any counter evidence should never be considered as it must be wrong. Check things with three sources if you like but to ensure that you get the desired answer make sure that three sources all have a common origin. That way it looks as if you did your homework when in fact you were using just the one source.
Art of Mind powers:
Conclusions that you draw from the evidence are indisputable because you obviously have perfect deductive powers. The facts that you selected carefully may paint one picture but it is up to you to correct that image in the mind of the viewer. If event ‘A’ follows event ‘B’ then event ‘A’ was molested by event ‘B’ and event ‘C’ is to blame because it should have know about it. So sad looking people are like that because you have deduced that they were victims of whom you say they were despite the fact that their mother just died ten minutes ago.
Art of Googling:
The fastest Googler shall inherit the earth; Followed by the fastest one to Wiki the answer; Then those that have provided a link to conspiracy website; then those that have gone to effort to cut and paste from a politically partisan website (which is not actually partisan because you like it); then come the images with outraged blurbs below them; then comes television; then comes the quotes from favourite authors and then comes everyone else. So set your priorities when trying to build that rhetoric and make sure that everything is Google worthy first.
Art of being Self Important:
All jokes aside. That is the rule. You must take yourself so seriously that humour has no place in your world. Laughter can exist but it must be sarcastic laughter. Intellectually perfect people have no time for the frivolities of life and must dedicate themselves to their true mission in life which is to destroy all ideological enemies. Just like a Dalek you must try to mentally exterminate them all. EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! Only you can complete this mission and without you intellectual efforts everyone else will just give up.
Art of the use of Fire:
Emotions are your best friend so manipulate them whenever you can. If there is a dispute it can be solved with by you constant nagging, use of capital letters, pleading victimhood, pointing to enemies and generally trying to emotionalize every situation as much as possible. Flame wars, as everyone knows, is the highest form of intellectual discourse, just as false accusation are not false if you use them. So flame away.
Conclusion
You know what to do next. Write a post filled with semantics and rhetoric.
Even the greatest bloggers need a bit of time off to chill with some mp3's
What is in Word?
If you think that words can have two meaning then try to make three or even four? If you think that some words have twenty meanings then keep trying for fifty. One at fifty you can aim for 100 meanings. ‘How do you do this,’ you ask? Synonyms are your friend and when that friend is exhausted you always have the Thesaurus who is a friend that never gets tired. Have you ever use one of those books? The endless ways that you can twist and turn a word to mean whatever you want it to mean. Lawyers do it, teachers do it and even politicians do it, let’s do it, let’s fall in love... with confounding the meaning of words to suit our purposes.
Allow me to demonstrate: It is all about ‘Choice’ unless it is ‘Work Choices’. ‘Love’ is grand until it is bad or oppressive. The ancient Greeks had 4 words to describe ‘love’, we have one, so possibilities are even more endless for you to play with. There is no ‘Compassion’ without ‘Passion’ and if think about it hard enough it also includes ‘Communism’. Now you are really working. ‘Discipline’ means whatever you want it to mean because you have a thesaurus and a fertile imagination. BTW, have you ever looked up ‘Thesaurus’ in a thesaurus?
Rhetoric is not Rhetoric if you use it.
For you it is considered thoughts that have been formulated over a long period of personal experience and serious study. The opinions are in fact indisputable facts that have been checked by you personally to ensure that you are correct. Otherwise why would ever bother writing something unless it is the gospel truth and philosophically correct in every way? That sounds fair enough because everyone knows that bloggers are the most honest and educated people on the planet (next to taxi drivers). The case is closed because the authority of self has rested the case on perfect evidence of self promotion. All that is required now is to spice it up.
Art of evidence selection:
So select your evidence carefully to match the assertion. Any counter evidence should never be considered as it must be wrong. Check things with three sources if you like but to ensure that you get the desired answer make sure that three sources all have a common origin. That way it looks as if you did your homework when in fact you were using just the one source.
Art of Mind powers:
Conclusions that you draw from the evidence are indisputable because you obviously have perfect deductive powers. The facts that you selected carefully may paint one picture but it is up to you to correct that image in the mind of the viewer. If event ‘A’ follows event ‘B’ then event ‘A’ was molested by event ‘B’ and event ‘C’ is to blame because it should have know about it. So sad looking people are like that because you have deduced that they were victims of whom you say they were despite the fact that their mother just died ten minutes ago.
Kang is always right when he blogs because he is the Great Kang.
Art of Googling:
The fastest Googler shall inherit the earth; Followed by the fastest one to Wiki the answer; Then those that have provided a link to conspiracy website; then those that have gone to effort to cut and paste from a politically partisan website (which is not actually partisan because you like it); then come the images with outraged blurbs below them; then comes television; then comes the quotes from favourite authors and then comes everyone else. So set your priorities when trying to build that rhetoric and make sure that everything is Google worthy first.
Art of being Self Important:
All jokes aside. That is the rule. You must take yourself so seriously that humour has no place in your world. Laughter can exist but it must be sarcastic laughter. Intellectually perfect people have no time for the frivolities of life and must dedicate themselves to their true mission in life which is to destroy all ideological enemies. Just like a Dalek you must try to mentally exterminate them all. EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! Only you can complete this mission and without you intellectual efforts everyone else will just give up.
EXTERMINATE! Intellectually that is...
Art of the use of Fire:
Emotions are your best friend so manipulate them whenever you can. If there is a dispute it can be solved with by you constant nagging, use of capital letters, pleading victimhood, pointing to enemies and generally trying to emotionalize every situation as much as possible. Flame wars, as everyone knows, is the highest form of intellectual discourse, just as false accusation are not false if you use them. So flame away.
Conclusion
You know what to do next. Write a post filled with semantics and rhetoric.
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Comment by D. Armenta
The Florida Keys and Everglades
The Black Sheep Chronicles
What constitutes bad manners?
The male mystique
Debate Fan
Hey Damo! Nice new page! Good to read you again, old buddy!
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
Good to see (ie: read from you again) welcome back to the farce of blogging, where the humourless go to war with the humorous.
I am about to name it World Worble 4.