Pseudo Intellectualism for beginners and Learning to Fake it with the Best.
May 7th 2008 08:51
Pseudo Intellectualism for beginners and Learning to Fake it with the Best.
How many books have you read?
Disappointed with yourself I bet.
Let me ask another question. How many books of real substance and knowledge have your read? Do you have any formal training in a professional discipline? Do have any area of knowledge where you could be seen as an expert or the expert source? Have you been shown how to approach problems that have no instructions to solve?
Or:
Is all your knowledge based upon a few hundred trashy novels, one or two controversial books and searches of google or wiki?
If the later is true then no matter how you try to fool yourself you are not an intellectual.
Oh, but you can complain that you did a 3 day course in modern philosophy and read the Karma Sutra. You may even have a picture of Yung on your wall but it is not good enough. You have to have barely scraped the surface of intellectualism.
However I am not here to condemn anyone. Rather I am here to help you attain the status of an Intellectual without doing any of that annoying hard study and thinking stuff. If you simply do not have time to be an intellectual why be the next best thing: a Pseudo Intellectual.
‘How awful?’ you may balk. Well my response is: ‘How come you are reading this if you have such high principles? Also, why would an intellectual need to learn how to be a pseudo version of itself? Duh.’ So let’s put the false moralizing aside get down to it.
Persona is everything.
This goes beyond the mantra that ‘image is everything’ because it looks to be much deeper. Your persona it the kind of person past present and future that you want people to believe that you are. You want people to believe that you are some kind of all knowing, all wise sage but at the same time you do not want to be known as a complete tool. Over playing your persona will do nothing except make you look like a wanker. So create a past that is filled with personal hardships, (family conflict are good because everyone has one), a few triumphs and a constant struggle for ‘freedom of expression’. Remember to be vague as detail will leave you open to contradiction and you will be caught out.
Image is everything else.
Now take a look in the mirror. Do you like what you see? Now image yourself waving a half smoked cigarette as you amble on about inequalities of the world. What about a pair of reading glasses. The rule for glasses these days seems to be thick frames with small square lenses: The power glasses. Put those on and instantly you look 50 percent smarter. Clothes must be black or dark and definitely of questionable sexual preference. Your car, if you have one, must have at least 2 bumper stickers protesting about something. ‘Save the Whale’ is so last year, so get a new one. Get something with a pun about a contemporary issue and one about Jeff Kennet (they will always be in fashion). Your home must be a rented share house, a warehouse loft or a single room flat. You are not to admit that you still live with your mother. You must also be single or thinking of becoming single or entering a new relationship where your partner just does not match your expectations.
Knowledge is Nothing.
Do not get confused about this heading; knowledge is what you imagine it to be. Yet the importance of anything can be reduced in your mind if you want it to be so. You must be able to ignore important evidence if it makes what you say look bad. It does not exist if you don’t pay attention to it. It ceases to exist if the information is lost or forgotten about, so hone your diversionary tactics. Fill the air with so many words that they cannot be understood, you must be able to frustrate any opponent to the point that they can no longer be bothered with you. Then you can tell everyone else about your great victory over this person.
Pick Your Fights.
Never let the battle come to you until you have some degree of certainty that you can have an audience that agrees with everything that you say. This sounds hard but it is quite simple: just stick to what is Politically Correct for this week. Politically correct means that you can have a free kick at a bunch of social groups and you will always have a cheer squad to back you up. Because it is PC you can fall back into the defence that it is the only way. Do not engage in evidence based fights where the evidence can be checked.
Quotations must drop names more than information.
Well if my hairdresser tells me that economy is stuffed I may not believe him but if Aristotle is quoted then we will all believe it. In the world of butt kissing quoting any famous person trumps all evidence. Smarter people than you may have said it so that is good enough for everyone. It does not matter that you are quoting out of context and that Plato said some pretty stupid things, all that matters is that you get the quotation marks correct. Misquoting is as effective as appropriate quoting to an ignorant audience wanting to have their prejudices massaged and validated.
Conclusion
As you can see the road true intellectualism is long, hard and lacks any glory but the road to pseudo intellectualism is easy quick and feeds you ego. For those that are out there staved for attention this will always be their first choice. You do not have to be smart to have a few people think that you are smart. Those that see through your act are just not worth worrying about are they?
Hatchet jobs should be your speciality.
How many books have you read?
Disappointed with yourself I bet.
Let me ask another question. How many books of real substance and knowledge have your read? Do you have any formal training in a professional discipline? Do have any area of knowledge where you could be seen as an expert or the expert source? Have you been shown how to approach problems that have no instructions to solve?
Is all your knowledge based upon a few hundred trashy novels, one or two controversial books and searches of google or wiki?
If the later is true then no matter how you try to fool yourself you are not an intellectual.
Oh, but you can complain that you did a 3 day course in modern philosophy and read the Karma Sutra. You may even have a picture of Yung on your wall but it is not good enough. You have to have barely scraped the surface of intellectualism.
However I am not here to condemn anyone. Rather I am here to help you attain the status of an Intellectual without doing any of that annoying hard study and thinking stuff. If you simply do not have time to be an intellectual why be the next best thing: a Pseudo Intellectual.
‘How awful?’ you may balk. Well my response is: ‘How come you are reading this if you have such high principles? Also, why would an intellectual need to learn how to be a pseudo version of itself? Duh.’ So let’s put the false moralizing aside get down to it.
Vitriolic and spiteful can be covered with pseudo intellectual jargon.
Persona is everything.
This goes beyond the mantra that ‘image is everything’ because it looks to be much deeper. Your persona it the kind of person past present and future that you want people to believe that you are. You want people to believe that you are some kind of all knowing, all wise sage but at the same time you do not want to be known as a complete tool. Over playing your persona will do nothing except make you look like a wanker. So create a past that is filled with personal hardships, (family conflict are good because everyone has one), a few triumphs and a constant struggle for ‘freedom of expression’. Remember to be vague as detail will leave you open to contradiction and you will be caught out.
Image is everything else.
Now take a look in the mirror. Do you like what you see? Now image yourself waving a half smoked cigarette as you amble on about inequalities of the world. What about a pair of reading glasses. The rule for glasses these days seems to be thick frames with small square lenses: The power glasses. Put those on and instantly you look 50 percent smarter. Clothes must be black or dark and definitely of questionable sexual preference. Your car, if you have one, must have at least 2 bumper stickers protesting about something. ‘Save the Whale’ is so last year, so get a new one. Get something with a pun about a contemporary issue and one about Jeff Kennet (they will always be in fashion). Your home must be a rented share house, a warehouse loft or a single room flat. You are not to admit that you still live with your mother. You must also be single or thinking of becoming single or entering a new relationship where your partner just does not match your expectations.
Quote Yoda.
Knowledge is Nothing.
Do not get confused about this heading; knowledge is what you imagine it to be. Yet the importance of anything can be reduced in your mind if you want it to be so. You must be able to ignore important evidence if it makes what you say look bad. It does not exist if you don’t pay attention to it. It ceases to exist if the information is lost or forgotten about, so hone your diversionary tactics. Fill the air with so many words that they cannot be understood, you must be able to frustrate any opponent to the point that they can no longer be bothered with you. Then you can tell everyone else about your great victory over this person.
Pick Your Fights.
Never let the battle come to you until you have some degree of certainty that you can have an audience that agrees with everything that you say. This sounds hard but it is quite simple: just stick to what is Politically Correct for this week. Politically correct means that you can have a free kick at a bunch of social groups and you will always have a cheer squad to back you up. Because it is PC you can fall back into the defence that it is the only way. Do not engage in evidence based fights where the evidence can be checked.
Quotations must drop names more than information.
Well if my hairdresser tells me that economy is stuffed I may not believe him but if Aristotle is quoted then we will all believe it. In the world of butt kissing quoting any famous person trumps all evidence. Smarter people than you may have said it so that is good enough for everyone. It does not matter that you are quoting out of context and that Plato said some pretty stupid things, all that matters is that you get the quotation marks correct. Misquoting is as effective as appropriate quoting to an ignorant audience wanting to have their prejudices massaged and validated.
Call this book so evil that is must be burned.
Conclusion
As you can see the road true intellectualism is long, hard and lacks any glory but the road to pseudo intellectualism is easy quick and feeds you ego. For those that are out there staved for attention this will always be their first choice. You do not have to be smart to have a few people think that you are smart. Those that see through your act are just not worth worrying about are they?
"What an incredible and well researched book this was?"
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Comment by Cheryl J
Funny Videos
Rhythmatism
Zentertainment
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
Thanks for your comments.
I'm not sure but it would. However it would make good retirement home chatter when you are 99.
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Intellectuals miss the great currentsea of humanity.
Raw feeling.
Not emotion.
Feeling.
It's a sense.
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
Thanks for your comments.
Being neither I am in an excellent position to lampoon both.
'Intellectual' is not a job but a self appointed title meaning I've read more than one book on a subject that not many people know about.
It is like 'Humanist' which mean being respect as being good without doing any actual good.
Or a 'Movie Star' who is a nothing but an actor with a press agent.
And yes the typos do get through despite hitting F7 on word.
Comment by Clint Emry
Strategy and Solutions
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
Thanks for your comments
It is my job to add to the confusion of life.
Comment by tlcorbin
Coffee Quip
A Global Citizen
Paranormal Paranormal
Is Why
Alaska Chronicle
Sleezer's World
It's a shame Damo, truly.
Raven
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
You devil.
I also a confess to Fought crime.
Shame for so humour for others.