How do you get rid of the Call Center calls?
October 30th 2006 04:51
How do you get rid of the Call Center calls?
Without fail it is near 6pm and I about to sit down for dinner when the phone rings. A complete stranger speaks in urgent tones as he had just called for an ambulance and was put through to your number. Suddenly I am being greeted by my name and asked how are we today? (Am I some kind of mental patient waiting to dribble out my life story?) With out a second to answer I am bombarded with talk of a great offer and a free phone as no cost and no obligation, ‘An offer to good to refuse.’ The conversation carries on and all I want to know is how long before this person gets off the line.
More often than not a call comes up as overseas on my number display. If ask where the person with a heavy Indian accent is calling from I am told that they have an office in Melbourne. And pixies fly at the end of my garden? There is a delay and a slight echo that give this away as an overseas call, so I know I am being lied to. Whatever this person has to offer is now tainted by that lie. Every attempt I make to be rid of this nuisance is fruitless and they waist more of my time and my precious life.
Another call come just as I am about to watch television. (Grrrr) No point for guessing what country they say that they are calling from. “How are we today?” a ridiculously over familiar stranger asks. “Busy,” I reply in a cold manner.
“This will only take you a moment of your time and ….”
“Listen,” I interject, “Futurama is about to start and you are wrecking my personal time with the wisdom of Bender.”
“Could I call you back in one hour as this a very great opportunity for you to have a free holi…”
“Kiss my shiny metal ass.”
The next day at six I see ‘overseas’ displayed on my phone line identifier. Upon being answered a heavily accented man start rambling about a great investment opportunity. I wonder how long he can keep going before either stopped to take a breath or faint due to oxygen starvation. Damn he stops to take a breath then begins his next automated tirade. This time he asks questions that I don’t answer but that does stop him from continuing to preach about a free seminar. Finally he asks a real question of me. “And what do you thing of that?”
“No.”
“No what?”
“No I don’t but anything from a call from another country.”
“But we are here in…” He hesitates to read. “…Melbourne.”
“What’s the weather like today?” I love being a smart ass sometimes.
The weather is…” Papers rattle for a few seconds, “…fine today with a sight North Easterly breeze.”
My phone goes down.
Two days later a get a callas 5:50pm, they are getting smarter and so catch me off guard. Yet like a battle hardened soldier I am up for the fight. The person starts with the greatest of orgasmic enthusiasm about a great new phone offer. Do people actually get that excited over saving money off their long distance calls? I don’t. “Would you like me to explain how you can save money and get this great new phone for free?”
“Sure as long as we can talk about Jesus first.”
This time they hang up.
So what are people tactics for getting rid of that nuisance phone call trying to sell you stuff? I have to admit that these days I get a bit of pleasure out mentally tormenting the person on the other end of the line. Asking for a supervisor is one of my favorites, telling them that they have called another call center is another. “I’m sorry didn’t hear that the person you called died?” For surveys my first question is “Am I going to be paid for this survey?” If they are unwilling to fork up $30 per hour then it is good-bye.
What are people doing to be rid of the random phone pests?
Without fail it is near 6pm and I about to sit down for dinner when the phone rings. A complete stranger speaks in urgent tones as he had just called for an ambulance and was put through to your number. Suddenly I am being greeted by my name and asked how are we today? (Am I some kind of mental patient waiting to dribble out my life story?) With out a second to answer I am bombarded with talk of a great offer and a free phone as no cost and no obligation, ‘An offer to good to refuse.’ The conversation carries on and all I want to know is how long before this person gets off the line.
More often than not a call comes up as overseas on my number display. If ask where the person with a heavy Indian accent is calling from I am told that they have an office in Melbourne. And pixies fly at the end of my garden? There is a delay and a slight echo that give this away as an overseas call, so I know I am being lied to. Whatever this person has to offer is now tainted by that lie. Every attempt I make to be rid of this nuisance is fruitless and they waist more of my time and my precious life.
Another call come just as I am about to watch television. (Grrrr) No point for guessing what country they say that they are calling from. “How are we today?” a ridiculously over familiar stranger asks. “Busy,” I reply in a cold manner.
“This will only take you a moment of your time and ….”
“Listen,” I interject, “Futurama is about to start and you are wrecking my personal time with the wisdom of Bender.”
“Could I call you back in one hour as this a very great opportunity for you to have a free holi…”
“Kiss my shiny metal ass.”
The next day at six I see ‘overseas’ displayed on my phone line identifier. Upon being answered a heavily accented man start rambling about a great investment opportunity. I wonder how long he can keep going before either stopped to take a breath or faint due to oxygen starvation. Damn he stops to take a breath then begins his next automated tirade. This time he asks questions that I don’t answer but that does stop him from continuing to preach about a free seminar. Finally he asks a real question of me. “And what do you thing of that?”
“No what?”
“No I don’t but anything from a call from another country.”
“But we are here in…” He hesitates to read. “…Melbourne.”
“What’s the weather like today?” I love being a smart ass sometimes.
The weather is…” Papers rattle for a few seconds, “…fine today with a sight North Easterly breeze.”
My phone goes down.
Two days later a get a callas 5:50pm, they are getting smarter and so catch me off guard. Yet like a battle hardened soldier I am up for the fight. The person starts with the greatest of orgasmic enthusiasm about a great new phone offer. Do people actually get that excited over saving money off their long distance calls? I don’t. “Would you like me to explain how you can save money and get this great new phone for free?”
“Sure as long as we can talk about Jesus first.”
This time they hang up.
So what are people tactics for getting rid of that nuisance phone call trying to sell you stuff? I have to admit that these days I get a bit of pleasure out mentally tormenting the person on the other end of the line. Asking for a supervisor is one of my favorites, telling them that they have called another call center is another. “I’m sorry didn’t hear that the person you called died?” For surveys my first question is “Am I going to be paid for this survey?” If they are unwilling to fork up $30 per hour then it is good-bye.
What are people doing to be rid of the random phone pests?
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Comment by Jack
Funny Pictures
Movie Trailers
Unfortunately I don't have an ingenious way to get rid of them, but I do know they are bringing in a "Do not Call Registry" in Australia. If you put your number on the list you will be off limits to telemarketers. I heard they are expecting 2-3 million numbers to go on the list within the first week, however I don't know what date the list will be open.
Comment by Little Angry Doll
Falling Haiku Leaf
Do I dare admit what I did before I went on maternity leave? I can't. The shame is too great.
I love your "talk about Jesus" solution. Never heard that one.
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
I'm waiting for the do not call register. Make me its first customer.
Angry Doll,
If you were working where I think you were working then you should know what ticks you off the most. Perhaps this could be the secret weapon again an evil invading hord of sales figures.
Comment by Little Angry Doll
Falling Haiku Leaf
Dial, my pretties! Dial!!!
Comment by Adrian
Philosophy Blog
Cracked up at the Bender comments.
People actually do lists of mean things to do to telemarketers. Here's some sites:
http://www.zefrank.com/donotcall/
http://www.brouhaha.com/~eric/telemarketing.html
What I'm lately doing is going with the old, "Could you hold on a second", then putting the phone down and walking away.
I suppose it's quite mean though -- them being stuck in some Indian cubicle somewhere, earning 10c an hour or whatever...
Comment by charles
FanFootball
ZCars
Ponderous
But, hey, they're just doing their job! No? It's like parking officers...they cop so much abuse, but at the end of the day, they're just doing their job.
Charles.
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
There was a doco in SBS some time ago that showed how Indian call centre staff were becoming the new middle class professionals. Sometimes earning more than other professions. Personally I think turning a nation into an army of high pressure sales people is cruel in itself. The problem I see it is that call centres are subconttracted from companies in the West to stingy to pay real wages here. If india or the Phillipines becomes to expensive they'll drop them and go to Africa.
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
You must be very lucky to be outside their demographic hit list. At one stage I was getting a multiple calls everyday. Strangers calling me by my first name and telling me private details that they should not know. Often I am told a mixture of half truths and direct lies just get me to agree to a new phone contract that is worse than what I have. Charity reps thank me for a donation that I have never given and ask if I can help out again this year. How many people are falling for that line? And then there is the free holiday that all you have to do is attend a wealth creation seminar and of course pay for the free holiday.
I have to agree with you that they are doing their job but as 'Cool Hand Luke' says, "call'n it ya job don't make it right". After all even a snake oil salesman it just doing his job.
Comment by ChrisB
Formula 1
The Social Centre
Sometimes its fun to bet with fellow family members at certain time intervals whether they are still on the line or not.
Or another great method is to repeat exactly what they say, until they get angry - then you say "See, annoying ain't it?"
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
The silent treatment. I like that.
Repeating what they say. My kids do that and it is really annoying
Comment by Ailene
And without sounding or appearing to be a bigot, those call centre people supposedly from Melbourne are quite irritating. If anyone are avid followers of "The Wedge", they actually dedicate a satirical segment on these Indian call centres!! Lovin it!!!
Comment by DuskDevi
Rucks and Rolls
Rugby World Cup 2007
Well...although I agree with Charles
(telemarketers are just doing their job, we really shouldn't persecute them for what their company demands of them to put food on their tables)...it does get frustrating and some of them are just so...insistent...and they're not all Indian, I seem to get a lot of Oirish te-leprechauns...anyway, here are some suggestions;
1.tell them you don't have time to talk but could they fax the information to you?...Make up a number
2. Exclaim loudly when they introduce themselves "XYZ! Is that you? Oh my God! XYZ, how have you been?"
- this has worked, telemarketer got very flustered and said perhaps they had the wrong number...!!!
3.You have to be in a certain frame of mind to do this;
Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is ABC and I'm with XYZ Company ..."
You: Wait for 2 seconds, pant a little and with a really husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"
4.Insist that the caller is really your friend, playing a joke. "Come on XYZ, cut it out! Seriously, XYZ, how's the family? How's the rash?..."
Oh my God...now they're monitoring this post Damo...just got a call, asking if they could help me do whatever...have just answered that I'm beyond help...
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
I've seen that sketch but I think that they are too kind.
DuskDevi
The nazis were just doing their job and just following orders. Perhaps I am overdoing it but these calls are damn annoying. If only I knew who owned these companies so I call him and sell him a timeshare charity phone.
Comment by Lilla
Enviro Warrior
An Extra Ordinary Life
Dream Herald
Luckily, they do not ring back ... yet!
Comment by JoshZ
A Simple Christian
A, "friend" of mine that can do quite a passable indian accent pretended to get annoyed that they "ver" spekaing english to him rather than Hindi, since they were clearly from India.
Another one I use is confesing to be a criminal of some kind. That also puts them off.
Dad just swears at them.
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
I use to polite say no thanks but these fellow keep talking. Hanging up as they speak. I like that. Fight rudeness with rudeness.
Joshz
I can't do indian accents very well but I do know how to swear.
Confessing to be a criminal? What kind?
Comment by Anonymous
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
If you are in Australia you can do 2 things:
There is a govenment site called the Do not call register.
You can contact call centre association and have yourself revoved fromtheir lists.
Overseas countries have different laws.
However the important thing is not to let them waste your time explaining. Stop them half way through their scripts and ask what company the represent. Ask them to wait and put the phone down. Ask for their number to call them back. Tell them that they have call the emergency line for people who are suicidal. Tell them that this is actually police headquaters. Just echoe what they say(they hate that) Keep a whistle and blow in their ear.
Engage them waste their time and buy nothing. Ask dumb question until they get upset. Play a game and work out what you can say to make them hang up.
I usd to hate these call but now I enjoy torturing them as they have done to me in the past.