How to Write a Post with False Indignation.
June 6th 2008 03:21
How to Write a Post with False Indignation.
Feeling superior this morning? Just got out of bed and suddenly you look on the news and saw someone say something that you may disagree with. You rush off to read up on what to agree and disagree with, you find it is in the ‘to be disagreed with list for this week’ and so you must does something about it. First of all just because this week it is evil it does not mean it was evil last year when you were defending it. Nor does it mean that the list of what is right and wrong cannot be changed from week to week. The situation may require you to be both in favour of the proposal and against depending upon who said it. Bad people only say bad things and good people only say good things. If need to work out who is good and bad there is another list issued weekly and I will explain later.
Understanding Indignation
If you see something that you disagree with and can accept that it is just a viewpoint then you are not trying hard enough. You must have no place in your mental empire for the concept of agreeing to disagree. Instead you must live by the motto: How Dare You! Note the exclamation mark. How dare you write this! How dare you not ask me before you write! How dare you be on the wrong side! How dare you show your face around here! How dare you claim to be a thinker when you disagree with what I say is thought!
What to be Indignant about
That is easy. Everything. Actually not quite everything. If it is something is popular with the people you are told are right then it is right. So in short everything and nothing at once. Confused? Try it and confuse others. Refer to the list.
Old Scores and Grudges
Harbor your pain and keep it inside until it swells into a great ball of hate. Remember that in a choice between blind faith and blind rage it is better to have blind faith in blind rage. Whilst others may tell you to let it go and move on, you should never listen to them. You must listen to that inner voice that tells you to store it all up for your one chance to pay them back. Remember Rome was not ruined in one day, so start churning over your past looking for all those little incidents that make you mad.
The List of Who to be Indignant about was written on Sand.
Sandpaper actually as it is required to be abrasive and rough in order to have maximum effect. There is a list of who is ‘good’ and who is ‘bad’ but such words are never used. The proper and correct term is ‘progressive’ and ‘reactionary’. ‘Progressive’ means ‘good’ and ‘Reactionary’ means ‘bad’. So it is easy to just create a list that is devoid of any ethical qualms over someone who killed millions and as long as that person was a ‘progressive’ it is all okay. A person did not kill millions but is on the ‘reactionary’ list is self evidently a ‘reactionary’ and therefore ‘bad’. Killing people is immaterial to whether the person is considered ‘Good or Evil’ as long as they are ‘Progressive’. ‘Progressive’ means anyone who can be used as support for your agenda which is always self evidently ‘progressive’ because it is yours. This list will change from week to week and from day to day if required.
The list of Ideology
This is very complicated and like the list of ‘Reactionaries’ (bad people) and ‘Progressives’ (Our People) it shifts all the time. Yet you should never be worried if you cannot keep up or are confused about what to believe in. If you get it wrong just say that you were thinking of them as a minority. Minorities are always rights and everything that they claim is true because they are minority (Self evident isn’t it). Your plan is to make that minority cause so popular that it is accepted by the majority, whereby something else becomes a minority cause and the cause that you help become the majority cause is now oppressing them. Got it? So just before they get too big you must (MUST) get disillusioned and find another cause. Try to get a government grant to help you out.
This will also change from week to week.
When to become Indignant
If you become indignant too often people might suspect that you are a little unbalanced. If you get indignant too little then no one will take notice. So you must time your fits of indignation strategically. You must have one fit on Monday. People will be expecting something after weekend to make up for all the guilt of lazing about and watching their plasma televisions. There is nothing like blaming someone else to remove all sense of guilt and responsibility. So you must add a boost of guilt removing blame at least 3 times a week. Your last must be on Friday so that people can feel better about enjoying their weekend and watching their plasma televisions. However you may need to add a few more hits if anyone makes a comment that could even be slightly damaging to your agenda. This will be in the form of ‘How Dare You!’
The level of Indignation is evidence of its Validity.
If you speak calmly with clear evidence and balanced opinion then you are not trying hard enough. How are you supposed to convince anyone if you are unwilling to exploit their fear, prejudices and bigotries? (Duh) Remember the agenda is ‘just’ because it is your agenda and you love it so much, so go out and share the love with fear, prejudices and bigotries. You cannot trust people to think for themselves. They must feel such pure hatred that they react before their ideologically incorrect minds have time to have second thoughts.
Thus ends the lesson.
I expect to see some terrific examples of false indignation after this.
Editorial Comment:
How dare you preach to us in this parody and satirical post filled with false indignation.
Response: I like the way you write.
Xenu Loves you so much. Random but I like random.
Feeling superior this morning? Just got out of bed and suddenly you look on the news and saw someone say something that you may disagree with. You rush off to read up on what to agree and disagree with, you find it is in the ‘to be disagreed with list for this week’ and so you must does something about it. First of all just because this week it is evil it does not mean it was evil last year when you were defending it. Nor does it mean that the list of what is right and wrong cannot be changed from week to week. The situation may require you to be both in favour of the proposal and against depending upon who said it. Bad people only say bad things and good people only say good things. If need to work out who is good and bad there is another list issued weekly and I will explain later.
Understanding Indignation
If you see something that you disagree with and can accept that it is just a viewpoint then you are not trying hard enough. You must have no place in your mental empire for the concept of agreeing to disagree. Instead you must live by the motto: How Dare You! Note the exclamation mark. How dare you write this! How dare you not ask me before you write! How dare you be on the wrong side! How dare you show your face around here! How dare you claim to be a thinker when you disagree with what I say is thought!
What to be Indignant about
That is easy. Everything. Actually not quite everything. If it is something is popular with the people you are told are right then it is right. So in short everything and nothing at once. Confused? Try it and confuse others. Refer to the list.
Old Scores and Grudges
Harbor your pain and keep it inside until it swells into a great ball of hate. Remember that in a choice between blind faith and blind rage it is better to have blind faith in blind rage. Whilst others may tell you to let it go and move on, you should never listen to them. You must listen to that inner voice that tells you to store it all up for your one chance to pay them back. Remember Rome was not ruined in one day, so start churning over your past looking for all those little incidents that make you mad.
The List of Who to be Indignant about was written on Sand.
Sandpaper actually as it is required to be abrasive and rough in order to have maximum effect. There is a list of who is ‘good’ and who is ‘bad’ but such words are never used. The proper and correct term is ‘progressive’ and ‘reactionary’. ‘Progressive’ means ‘good’ and ‘Reactionary’ means ‘bad’. So it is easy to just create a list that is devoid of any ethical qualms over someone who killed millions and as long as that person was a ‘progressive’ it is all okay. A person did not kill millions but is on the ‘reactionary’ list is self evidently a ‘reactionary’ and therefore ‘bad’. Killing people is immaterial to whether the person is considered ‘Good or Evil’ as long as they are ‘Progressive’. ‘Progressive’ means anyone who can be used as support for your agenda which is always self evidently ‘progressive’ because it is yours. This list will change from week to week and from day to day if required.
The list of Ideology
This is very complicated and like the list of ‘Reactionaries’ (bad people) and ‘Progressives’ (Our People) it shifts all the time. Yet you should never be worried if you cannot keep up or are confused about what to believe in. If you get it wrong just say that you were thinking of them as a minority. Minorities are always rights and everything that they claim is true because they are minority (Self evident isn’t it). Your plan is to make that minority cause so popular that it is accepted by the majority, whereby something else becomes a minority cause and the cause that you help become the majority cause is now oppressing them. Got it? So just before they get too big you must (MUST) get disillusioned and find another cause. Try to get a government grant to help you out.
This will also change from week to week.
When to become Indignant
If you become indignant too often people might suspect that you are a little unbalanced. If you get indignant too little then no one will take notice. So you must time your fits of indignation strategically. You must have one fit on Monday. People will be expecting something after weekend to make up for all the guilt of lazing about and watching their plasma televisions. There is nothing like blaming someone else to remove all sense of guilt and responsibility. So you must add a boost of guilt removing blame at least 3 times a week. Your last must be on Friday so that people can feel better about enjoying their weekend and watching their plasma televisions. However you may need to add a few more hits if anyone makes a comment that could even be slightly damaging to your agenda. This will be in the form of ‘How Dare You!’
The level of Indignation is evidence of its Validity.
If you speak calmly with clear evidence and balanced opinion then you are not trying hard enough. How are you supposed to convince anyone if you are unwilling to exploit their fear, prejudices and bigotries? (Duh) Remember the agenda is ‘just’ because it is your agenda and you love it so much, so go out and share the love with fear, prejudices and bigotries. You cannot trust people to think for themselves. They must feel such pure hatred that they react before their ideologically incorrect minds have time to have second thoughts.
Thus ends the lesson.
I expect to see some terrific examples of false indignation after this.
Editorial Comment:
How dare you preach to us in this parody and satirical post filled with false indignation.
Response: I like the way you write.
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Comment by S. L. Bradish
Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
Thanks for your comments.
And the abrasive sand papers that go with it.
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
Thanks for your comments.
Damn right you will.
Yet I can't help but feel that there are so many trying too hard.
It is all in the planning which is built around the guilt cycles of the upper middle classes.
You can get a government grant to study that.
Comment by Lilla
Enviro Warrior
An Extra Ordinary Life
Dream Herald
Personally ... I find people who trade in "right' and "wrong" (polarity consciousness) make me quite indignant! ...especially those who do not understand that timing is everything when intention is observed
Ah yes, plan 65 - Spontaneity.
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
That is one of the best examples I have seen.
I will sitting for hour trying to work out what you said.
You are a true master.
Plan 66 never had a chance.
Comment by tlcorbin
Coffee Quip
A Global Citizen
Paranormal Paranormal
Is Why
Alaska Chronicle
Damo, have a great weekend, love the post-very timely.
Where the hell is plan 69? There needs to be some equality spread about . . .
Wow, am I cranky???
Raven
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
Thanks for your comments.
We have to stop meeting like this.
I too wish to grow to a ripe old age where I am know as the cantankerous Damo.
Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
Health Focus
Poetry Lighthouse
MS Paint Art
Oh, well, I can see I'll just have to start doing it, it just MIGHT put my popularity UP, it can't go much lower.
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
That is the best comment that I have ever read.
Actually I never really bothered about the popularity of posts.
Just write what I want; read my regulars and a few others that interest me.
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
Magnificent piece, utterly brilliant writing. Loved every last word!
Want to know what pissed me off this week?
Read two articles in the MX that burned me up - they are now preventing wool being made from sheep that have been musled. The cost of preventing flystrike in sheep that have not had this procedure is going to shoot up the price of any sheep related product. Those PETA F**ckwits have never lived on a farm, they've never known the why behind these 'inhumane' procedures, and now theyve WON. I think they would really like the farmers to go broke. It must be their goal - I cant see any other reason for their insane stupidity and refusal to learn about WHY we do what we do to sheep.
The other was China. How DARE they say that a ticket to the olympics does not garuntee entry to the country! Do they know the spirit of the olympics? Do they have any comprehension of what the olympics means? Stupid goddamn morons who want to have their cake and eat it too. Dont we all China, dont we all?
And they should leave Sharon Stone alone. She was right.
Now, why do I not blog on these topics that so burn me up? If they are so important to me they make me hurl my newspaper at other alarmed commuters, you'd think Id blog it. Its what we blog for right?
Truth is, I cant be trusted. Id set out to write a well argued blog that was insightful and....Open minded, and Id just end up slagging off and choking on my own rage.
So I put up some ok poetry and sketches and scream at my boyfriend as if he could change Chinas mind.
Once agan, wonderfully written post Damo.
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
I feel your pain. As a fellow person that is frequently misunderstood and whose warped sense of humour tends to be seen for something else I do know what you mean.
Your skills as shown here are far superior to mine.
I do have limits on what I write also.
Far greater ramifications for me if I break those rules. My family would kill me.
If however I lost my mind and started to spill my guts about what really think about a particular radical mob in Australia then they would certainly rock up to Orble and branch stack the place. Seen it before. Hence they shall remain nameless.
Heavy is the head that wears the crown.
Good luck.
Damo
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
Mis
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
Thanks for your comments.
I think that false indignation is becoming more common than actual indignation these days.
Have fun.
Damo