A Special Message to Everyone who has not been offended yet: I am doing my best to offend you too.
October 20th 2008 07:23
A Special Message to Everyone who has not been offended yet: I am doing my best to offend you too.
I just wanted to cover everyone.
I know that the rest of you are feeling as if you are missing out. So I think I should go out of my way to offend all of you at once.
Yet I am not sure what would offend you all.
However I’ll give it a shot:
Carl Sagan sux. He tried to sue Apple Computers for calling a computer ‘Millions and Millions’.
‘The Age’ newspaper is not exactly impartial and ‘The Australian’ newspaper gives you gas.
No one gives a frig what Nietzsche has to say. He ate his own moustache and went mad.
Wikipedia is not as good as Liberalwiki or Conservapedia but it is much better than the Pediaphiles. I wonder what happened to all the books in the world.
F7 is what you do in place of sex. Do it twice for the extra level of blandness.
If you pick your nose with a coat hanger you are suicidal.
Just because your cronies love you, it does not mean that you are lovable.
Bigotrees are planted in bigger-forests by insignificant trolls with small minds.
Woman’s rights are powerful, so learn to duck fast.
Miss Sodginy is here to see you and boy is she pissed.
I found a spelling mistake in you post and that destroys your whole argument.
I am slowly undermining you whole way of life. Yes, I am that powerful.
High school does not make you street wise.
Wow, another Arts Graduate with a major in Humanities has hit the blog-sphere. (ZZZZZZZ)
Street wise is anti-clockwise wisdom. (I love mantras)
No one cares about your sex-life because they think you made it all up. (I will concede this point if you provide photographic evidence. Nothing with animals please.) However please continue to enthral us with your sex-capades.
I like it when you hate me. You are beautiful when you are angry. I also think Aardvarks are beautiful when they are angry.
Brush your teeth after felching. It is beginning to affect your writing.
I do not care what amazing political gain you made on a blog site. It is a blog site. Get over it.
Ad Hominem means to attack the person rather than the argument. It does not have handles so you can beat people with it. So try to avoid making an ad hominem attack whilst complaining about ad hominem attacks.
It may be news to you but, semantics shits everyone and proves nothing.
Yes, there is a conspiracy to take you down. Every Friday night we all get together to plan our next move.
I am amazed at how easy it was to infiltrate your group, mob, coven, and branch to bring you down from the inside. Are you really that stupid? Hehehehe. Yes.
And
Your bum looks big in everything.
Editorial Comment:
How dare you even try to be satirical when you know that we, who take ourselves so seriously, are the true clowns?
The glorious future will live on in our utopian dreams and that is something that you cannot kill.
One day you will see. We will get you and then we will write the most witty and funny satirical piece ever. Then you will be quite the fool. Do you hear me? Quite the fool.
Response:
Have you chosen a date yet? I want to pencil it in. I would not want to miss your first serious attempt at humour.
A random elephant. I like random.
I just wanted to cover everyone.
I know that the rest of you are feeling as if you are missing out. So I think I should go out of my way to offend all of you at once.
However I’ll give it a shot:
Carl Sagan sux. He tried to sue Apple Computers for calling a computer ‘Millions and Millions’.
‘The Age’ newspaper is not exactly impartial and ‘The Australian’ newspaper gives you gas.
No one gives a frig what Nietzsche has to say. He ate his own moustache and went mad.
Wikipedia is not as good as Liberalwiki or Conservapedia but it is much better than the Pediaphiles. I wonder what happened to all the books in the world.
F7 is what you do in place of sex. Do it twice for the extra level of blandness.
If you pick your nose with a coat hanger you are suicidal.
Just because your cronies love you, it does not mean that you are lovable.
Bigotrees are planted in bigger-forests by insignificant trolls with small minds.
Woman’s rights are powerful, so learn to duck fast.
Miss Sodginy is here to see you and boy is she pissed.
I found a spelling mistake in you post and that destroys your whole argument.
I am slowly undermining you whole way of life. Yes, I am that powerful.
High school does not make you street wise.
Wow, another Arts Graduate with a major in Humanities has hit the blog-sphere. (ZZZZZZZ)
Street wise is anti-clockwise wisdom. (I love mantras)
No one cares about your sex-life because they think you made it all up. (I will concede this point if you provide photographic evidence. Nothing with animals please.) However please continue to enthral us with your sex-capades.
I like it when you hate me. You are beautiful when you are angry. I also think Aardvarks are beautiful when they are angry.
Brush your teeth after felching. It is beginning to affect your writing.
I do not care what amazing political gain you made on a blog site. It is a blog site. Get over it.
Ad Hominem means to attack the person rather than the argument. It does not have handles so you can beat people with it. So try to avoid making an ad hominem attack whilst complaining about ad hominem attacks.
It may be news to you but, semantics shits everyone and proves nothing.
Yes, there is a conspiracy to take you down. Every Friday night we all get together to plan our next move.
I am amazed at how easy it was to infiltrate your group, mob, coven, and branch to bring you down from the inside. Are you really that stupid? Hehehehe. Yes.
And
Your bum looks big in everything.
Editorial Comment:
How dare you even try to be satirical when you know that we, who take ourselves so seriously, are the true clowns?
The glorious future will live on in our utopian dreams and that is something that you cannot kill.
One day you will see. We will get you and then we will write the most witty and funny satirical piece ever. Then you will be quite the fool. Do you hear me? Quite the fool.
Response:
Have you chosen a date yet? I want to pencil it in. I would not want to miss your first serious attempt at humour.
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Comment by Lilla
Enviro Warrior
An Extra Ordinary Life
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
No responses?
This post actually made me laugh out loud!
I enjoyed it... mind you I have popped in randomly, so if this is a part of a running gag .. well I am oblivious to it.. I liked the picture most of all (pity its not a 4WD)..oops now ive offended someone, for sure.
(elephant trumpet) Rooooaaaarrrrr!
Lilla ...
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
Thanks for your comments.
End of another day mad mad world of Orble.
If I knew the formula for what the reader want I would so tempted to write in the opposite direction.
The elephant cracked me up also. Sri Lanka at the elephant orphanage called Pinahawala. Angry orphan syndrome. In Sri Lanka those vans are as annoying as 4WDs so I guess it is the equivalent.
Comment by S.L.
The Political Brief
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
Comment by Randy Inman
Football Dogz
NCstuff
The Right Side
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
Thanks for your comments.
I do have a track record of offending Right Wingers of the political persuasion but must admit that I have neglected right wing footballerists.
Thank you for pointing out my inherent bias.
And to satisfy your need to be offended:
If you guys are so powerful how come you lose almost half your games?
Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
This would be my favourite:
You did miss a few targets though. This post deserves a sequel.
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
Thanks for tour comments.
I have learnt one thing from playing music live: Always leave when people want you to stay. Don't worry I have a whole list of mental empires that require offending.
I think my sequel may require some mention of nuns with guns take over the world.
Modernist Nun uses internet for first time and discovers that it is no longer 1973.
What to do with a bung nun. Sell her off to a Nietzche hugger.
Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
When it comes to posts on Catholicism? Or anti-Catholic posts?
I wish people who hated this God they don’t believe exists, would direct their comments directly at Him.
Or better still? Ring the Pope at the Vatican Switchboard on 39.06.6982.
As to arguing with them on their posts? What’s the point? I know how to Google the writings of reprobates and heretics. My only interest in error is knowing how to distinguish it, and I stick the maxim, ‘If you don’t know the truth, you can’t recognise error.’
I’d prefer to read the entire Bible, commentaries on Sacred Scripture by the Fathers and Doctors of the Church, the Summa Theologica, papal encyclicals, Butler’s Lives of the Saints, the writings of the Saints, the Catechism of the Council of Trent, and Phantom comics.
St Pius X's encyclical Pascendi Dominici Gregis is a good read. His basic message is that ‘modernism is the synthesis of all heresies.’ Modernists think they have discovered a new way to attack the Catholic Church, but if they really knew what they were talking about, they’d realise immediately, they’re only rehashing old heresies. But they’d have to do a bit of research first. And know the subject they’re arguing against a little bit better. I’m not doing their research for them. I had to do my own.
Comment by D. Armenta
The Florida Keys and Everglades
The Black Sheep Chronicles
What constitutes bad manners?
The male mystique
Debate Fan
L.A.M.P.
I agree with David-there needs to be a sequel. I tender my suggestions forthwith (aimed at continuing to offend as wide and diverse an audience as possible, of course).
As a sub-category I'll address the Boomers and the alphabet generations:
Gen X-What happened, man? All the college-radio listening, rebellious,protesting activist youths are now mid-level management types with 2.5 kids, a flat-screen TV and a mortgage --none of which they can afford.
Gen Y-Getting to the top level in "Rock Star" doesn't make one even remotely close to being a musician.
Also-you may have access to more information than they did, but you're still not smarter than your parents.
Boomers-How many thousands of times can you listen to the same music you listened to in the 60s and 70s before you get as sick of hearing it as the rest of us? How can you hear "Brown Eyed Girl", "Hotel California", "Margaritaville", "Me and Bobby McGee", et. al for the 567 thousandth time without wanting to blow lunch?
Gen Z-See all gens above. The trends change, but human nature remains the same, ad infinitum.
Comment by Arnathi
DarkSuggestion
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
‘If you don’t know the truth, you can’t recognise error.’
I like that quote.
My version was 'If you don't believe truth exists then there is no such thing as a lie.' Then again I am not dead yet, so it doesn't sound so majestic.
I like Sir Humphrey's take on Modernism in Yes Minister:
"A modernist is what we call an atheist who does not want to leave the church." (I miss Yes Minister)
I also figure that entering to staged gang bang on a bait post is also pointless. How many was can people say that 'I fart in your general direction,' and still be original?
I say three.
DA
Thanks for commenting
Any generation that has a letter attached is just not trying hard enough.
I am thinking that it about time for the 'Second Annual Dummy Spit Awards.' The inaugural event was very successful.
"Me and Bobby McGee?" You torment me but not as much as 'Living Nest Door to Alice" does.
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
Thanks for your comments.
Cronies are just as hard to love.
Comment by Louie
Climate Forum
Climate Red
randomthoughts
Phil's Wellness Tips
Orble fights are so bad they are good.
And like Lilla I laughed out loud. Can never do too much of that.
Comment by D. Armenta
The Florida Keys and Everglades
The Black Sheep Chronicles
What constitutes bad manners?
The male mystique
Debate Fan
L.A.M.P.
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
Thanks for your comments.
You did not miss much.
Starting from here is better than starting from anywhere. In a blog site 2 days is an eternity.
DA
I will start asking for nominations.
Comment by Bryn
Horrorphile
Damo, nice piece of vitriolic laced with your usual wry and acerbic wit.
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
Thanks for your comments.
This a rare privilage.
I am honored.
Maybe this is the Special time of year.
Comment by Bryn
Horrorphile
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics